Hi, Kathy,
I hear you, for sure. Same here! In fact a couple of years ago a researcher named Elise Radina did a study of cancer survivors with lymphedema. The reasearchers were surprised to hear MANY times, from people with all stages of cancer, that the lymphedema was in many ways harder to deal with than the cancer. WE aren't surprised, though! Also, one of their chief findings was that we were struggling with "feelings of abandonment by the medical community." On, no kidding?!
I've had lymphedema for four years now. I don't know about you, Kathy and Margie, but I can be both grateful to be cancer-free for so long and truly unhappy with the lymphedema all at the same time. The gratefulness for surviving cancer this long doesn't make me one bit happier about having both my arms (and my chest too) encased clear to the fingertips in compression garments day and night.
But what HAS gotten better is that I've gotten the garments, and the skills, and the connections with others that I need in order to cope and take back some control of my life. And besides, my little corner of the medical community isn't quite so dumb about lymphedema as it used to be (seeing as how I'm always feeding them new information!

) so I'm not feeling quite so abandoned either. I thought I'd never be able to say that, because it took sooooo long.
Kathy, you'll find the night garments a huge relief. Huge. Go for it. I'm really, really sorry you're smack in the middle of working out all the stupid management details. It's so discouraging! But we're definitely here for you, and your husband too. Let us know how we can help.
Gentle hugs,
Cassie